Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Yes, Mr. Pitt

Last week I signed up to participate in my division's Secret Santa festivities. It's completely voluntary; you only submit your name with a list of 4 gifts under $20 that you'd like. There's little guesswork involved, so that's nice.

I drew my Secret Santa today, and I couldn't keep it secret. I shared the news with 3 other women here because it was funny news to share.

Of all the people in my division who volunteered to participate, I drew the most unlikely of names. He's another new employee, very prestigious, and about 60 years my senior. The funniest part is his list of requests:

  • Handkerchiefs

  • Burt's Bees Hand Cream

  • Athletic Socks

  • Cookies of any kind

They're all very age appropriate, don't you think? I think this list is so cute. It has all the essentials, and then "cookies of any kind." How can I not get him everything?

It's the athletic socks that get me. I read that and immediately thought of the episode of Seinfeld in which Elaine has to buy socks for her new boss, Mr. Pitt. Even though I know my gifting won't happen like this, I still like to think of Dr. F reacting just like this:

From Seinfeld - The Chaperone

New scene - Elaine at Mr. Pitt's. He's trying on the socks she's brought him.

ELAINE: So, what do you think?

PITT (pulling up the socks): No.

ELAINE: You don't like them?

PITT: No, I don't like them.

ELAINE: What's wrong?

PITT: They're too tight.

ELAINE: Too tight?

PITT: There's no elastic, you need to pull too much .

ELAINE (examining the socks): I think they look good!

PITT: They're cutting off the circulation.

ELAINE: Alright, well, I'll just take them back.

PITT: Hello?

JERRY: Hi, Mr. Pitt! Is Elaine there?

PITT (hands the phone to Elaine): It's for you.

ELAINE: Sorry. Hello?

JERRY: Hey Elaine, it's me.

ELAINE: Jerry?

JERRY: We're going to Atlantic City.

ELAINE: Really? When?

JERRY: Today, right now! Are you in?

ELAINE: One second, hang on. (To Mr. Pitt) Excuse me, Mr. Pitt? Would it be alright if I got you the socks tomorrow?

PITT: Tomorrow?


PITT: But I was hoping for my new socks today!

ELAINE: Well, it's just one more day.

PITT: I'm sorry. I must have them today.

ELAINE (to Jerry): I can't go.

JERRY: Why not?

ELAINE: Because I have to return the socks and get different ones.

PITT: Elaine!

ELAINE: I gotta go.

So there's that,



mkieper said...

Have you ever tried eating a candy bar with a knife and fork?

mkieper said...

Have you ever tried eating a candy bar with a knife and fork?

Laura said...

I have!