I decided to start a responsible financial project: I'm tracking my spending for a month. I made a spreadsheet detailing every dollar and cent that leaves my bank account.
I've been meaning to do this for a few years, but I know how it will turn out. I spend too much money on food - dining out, compulsive groceries, and Starbucks trips - all of which goes down the toilet. I guess it will be good to see the percent of money I spend on food, to see where that money could be going instead.
I just dropped a piece of fresh pineapple under my desk. Since I have no greater love than fresh pineapple, I have to make a difficult decision as to whether or not to eat it once I crawl under my desk to pick it up....
I ate it...but not after looking around for witnesses.
Back to money, I'm trying to get back into bringing my lunch to work, and I've been working on eating the contents of my fridge and cabinets before buying more food. Here's an example of the most common problem I have with that:
Last night, I was thinking of dinner when I was at the gym, and I thought, "I want to make something quick. I have some leftover whole wheat hot dog buns; I'll make tuna salad with light mayo and chopped pickles, and I'll put it on two buns. I should have a salad, too. Oh, I have to get rid of some tomatoes. Maybe I'll just eat them with salt and pepper. But I haven't really had all that much fat or dairy today...what if I stopped to pick up some soft mozzarella to chop up with the tomatoes? Then I could put some vinegar on there, and some capers. And artichokes! That'll be a nice little fresh salad to balance my sandwiches."
Seriously? I think like this all the time. I have a running monologue in my head that discusses everything from money to food. I'm always thinking of my next meal, if only to make better decisions about what I'm eating now.
Back to last night - there was a problem with this meal, because I didn't have the mozzarella. That meant I had to run to the store on the way home, which means I'll buy more food. And guess what? That's what I did. I couldn't find mozzarella at my corner store, so I dilly-dallied and ended up buying havarti, eggs (because I thought I was out), and a single-serving bottle of OJ (because I had a craving yesterday morning). Problem was, I got home to find a full carton of eggs already in the fridge, and I realized I had an 8 oz chunk of cheese that will probably spoil before I get around to eating it all. That sounds weird, but I'm not a cheese junkie. Cheese finds sanctuary in my fridge. Sanctuary...and slow death by molding.
I'm so afraid I'm going to be like my mom, a compulsive shopper. She has clothes in her closet that still have tags, and a few months ago she had to purchase a freezer chest so that she could store the overflow of food from the refrigerator. The tiny woman is a suspected bulimic, and she loads the fridge up all the time with eggs, shredded cheese and meat. Every time I come home, I take alone time as an opportunity to dispose of rotting fruits, vegetables and uncovered leftovers; if it doesn't happen then, it will never happen. I can always count on finding a cantaloupe like a shrunken head in the back corner of a low shelf.
Moreover, I'm afraid that I can't go a day without spending money. I'll go full days without spending, only to decide at night that I need to make a frivolous purchase - be it a sandwich, a pack of Toffifay, or a box of nails. I feel like I need something that bad. Usually I plan my winter Sundays so that I don't have to leave the house; however, I will always find an excuse to get dressed and run to the corner store for something.
I think I'm really screwed up, but I guess it's good to realize it's a problem. By the way?
I don't know. Has anybody else had this problem?
So there's that,