Wednesday, April 9, 2008


I'm so stressed out this week because of a big project at work.  I'm just looking forward to Saturday night when it's all over!
Stress affects me in a curious way, and I warn you, what I'm about to describe may be a little too personal for some.  But if you're my friend, you know that I'm already very comfortable talking about bowel movements with you.
I said it.
My stomach doesn't follow the standard rules of digestion.  Peppermint doesn't soothe my upset stomach like they say it will, and neither does ginger.  Peppermint candy, gum, ginger ale - it all makes me feel pretty nauseous.  When I eat greasy food, it doesn't go straight through me; it binds me up. 
Chocolate makes me sick, too.  That's why I only eat it when nuts and caramel are involved.  It still makes me sick, but I love Turtles, what can I say?
And now I'm stressed out, and that. makes. me. constipated.  My pants were tight over the past 2 days, just from the fact that I haven't pooped since Friday.

What's my remedy?  Go home and take a laxative and a sleeping pill.  That's exactly what I did last night, and it couldn't have felt better.  Today, my pants are loose, and I feel well-rested.
I did have to wake up at midnight, though, to take a half-hour crap.  Shew!  That's just the price you pay for comfort.  I pooped so much between midnight and 9:00 am that I felt a little light-headed.  All I can say is, what a rush!
The problem is that I became powerfully hungry as a result, and I ate a lot of crap to make up for it.  Guess I'll have to repeat my regimen for one more night!
So there's that,

No comments: