In Bad Taste: Some Good Ideas

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Some Good Ideas

This isn't my complete list of good ideas, but I just wanted to put them out there before I forgot them.

Have all your purchases gift-wrapped.

I left my favorite scarf at a bar this weekend (black & grey argyle- wah), just in time for the big cold snap this week. So last night I begrudgingly shopped for a new scarf after work on Michigan Ave, so I could be prepared for the wind chills in the negative double digits.

If I haven't said it before, I hate shopping on Mich Ave. I only do it if I really need something and I can't wait for the weekend to do extensive price comparing. Plus, it's close to my office.

Anyway, after being unimpressed with the nearest store's (Orvis) "sale" ($50 after 30% markdown? B'guh?), I went across the street to Eddie Bauer where they had a fine array of scarves on sale. Because I don't like unexpected spending when it comes to stuff I really need (a good hat, a new cell phone after dropping mine in the tub, toilet paper), I have to put a silver lining on it.

So when I'm in some wannabe chi chi store like this, I make them go the extra mile and gift-wrap my purchases for free. When I order stuff online, I have it gift-wrapped too. That way, the universe is working a little more in my favor, and I don't feel so bad about splurging. I even have them include a gift receipt so I don't look conspicuous. Ha!

The result: This morning I carefully untied a green satin bow from a big, square red box and ruffled through delicate tissue paper to uncover my new blue down scarf and sleek black gloves. It was like Christmas in...about 3 weeks after Christmas.

Add "Sent from my iPhone" to the bottom of your emails.

Wanna look like the coolest person of 2007? Put this little sentence at the end of everything you send, and you'll have all the glory without wasting all the money.

And you won't look like one of those assholes who plays with his little status symbol in public.

If I ever get a dog, I'm going to name it Khan.

I fully believe dogs are vehicles for ironic names that show off their owners' creativity. I want to use this little Star Trek II reference so I can yell like James T. Kirk when I'm looking for him...or when he's done his business at bad times in bad places. "KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!