Instead of whipping out my largest-size-offered Lane Bryant tights, I decided to try on the pack of largest-size-offered Just My Size tights that had been hiding unopened in my closet since my last rant on pantyhose in November. To quote my "Most Uncomfortable" list:
- Holes in the Inside-Thigh of Your Pantyhose. If I step out in a skirt and hose for work, this little bitch of an annoyance always blights me by the day's end. I feel cute, slim and sexy in hose - my legs are deceptively smoothed and even-toned - I am a goddess in fresh hose. But when my thigh fat busts through the sausage casings by lunch time, I'm begging to take them off by 2 pm. The ripped nylon look might work for fetishists, but when it chokes the herniated fat bulging through, I'll have to wear Desitin all week to heal it. To leave work without them on would be like some awful walk of shame - my skirt wouldn't look right, my legs would be stubbled, and I'd have that general look of being violated between my legs. And a note to Just My Size: Make taller 4x hose. Not all fat people are short, and I'm pretty sure the reason they rip is because the crotch hits about 6 inches below my actual crevasse. Fuck you.
Way-il, this morning I decided to slip on the JMS black microfiber tights I got on sale at Walgreens, and let me tell ya - my findings were positive. They fit! Crotch hit crotch, the control-top band goes above my bellybutton, and they even bunch a little at my ankles! I have a hunch that my thigh fat will stay in-bounds through lunch time and beyond.
Emboldened by my non-scale victory, I thought I would weigh in this morning before I mow down on a scooped-out bagel (It's Bagel Day!). So I hopped on the scale in our cafeteria, and lo and behold, I lost 2 pounds! Boo yah!
I was somewhat discouraged, but then I remembered the eating I did over the weekend. I went to an Italian grocery on Saturday and had a small but calorie-laden grilled sandwich of prosciutto, mozzarella & basil. And that night I made some bean and cheese burritos to soothe my mouth, where 2 cavities were filled earlier in the day. And on Friday night I enjoyed tapas with friends.
Tapas is a type of dining in which small plates of food are shared among a table. Imagine a big appetizer sesh. It can be pretty diet-friendly in regards to portions, but I have a tendency to overnibble when I'm not thinking about it. I had bread and olive oil, olives, tomato & pancetta bruschetta, pork tenderloin with white beans, chicken with butternut squash and Israeli couscous (my weakness), and innocent grilled shrimp in mole sauce. I had small servings of each, but I'm sure what I ate cumulatively could fill an entire dinner plate. And I had a raspberry mojito. It adds up.
Now I know how to handle myself this weekend, when I'll be attending a birthday party on Friday (Happy 31st, Scott!) and a going away party on Saturday (Vanessa made a Second City cast!). Better choices, Laura.
I'll let that discouragement subside into pride, and use a small loss as an impetus to plan ahead. I've also decided to set my first realistic goal - lose 20 pounds by March 11.
So there's that,