Monday, July 14, 2008

Cooter Update

Went to the gyno, and it was awful.  Worse than I imagined. 
 
You can p'shaw if you'd like, but if I told you the whole story, you'd be all, "That's awful."
 
I think my feelings would best be expressed in a scene from the major motion picture, Waiting for Guffman:
 
The Pearls and the Albertsons are enjoying dinner at a chop suey house.  Sheila Albertson is very drunk when she admits a family secret.
 
Ron Albertson: I had to have penis reduction surgery.
Dr. Allan Pearl: Penis *reduction*?
Sheila: I said to him, "Ron, you've gotta do something!" And he says to me, "Well, why don't you get one of those vagina enlargements?"
 
Apparently, I'm in need of the latter as well.
 
It was bad, and it has ruined my day.  I'm shame-eating in response.  Had a McGriddle right afterward, and at 3:00 I'm planning on a big ole frappuccino.  You know it.
 
But I'm still gonna work out!
 
So there's that,

Laura

3 comments:

mkieper said...

I've not had that experience. But I went with my best friend from HS when she had her first cooter consultation. She was horrified and I think she wish she had her mom with her and not me. She came out in tears. Was told she had to do exercises to part the red sea.

Laura said...

I was told to start wearing tampons. TAMPONS!

ShanaRose said...

why were you told to start wearing tampons? i'm gonna have to probe your brain on this experience. pun def. intended.