Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Why So Serious?

I've been thinking about my last post for a few days now. It just sounds really awful to say, "Fuck 'em, let them screw up."

Who am I to judge? I'm such a hypocrite.

If you've read anything here, you know that I've gone down my share of unhealthy weight loss paths in the past. I'm not just talking about the stuff that Mom put me on, I'm talking November 2007 when I went on a "doctor" supervised liquid diet. Or later that year when I went to shady nutrition clinic. I knew better, but I was desperate. I reached a point where I would do ANYTHING to just slice off this weight. These were foolish ways to relieve my worst burden; if I'm so smart, why did I think it would be so easy?

I've been on the losing team before - the good kind - and I was high on myself then, too. I can't think that just because I'm doing well now I won't fall back to old habits in the future; that's already happened to me in the worst way. I need to remain vigilant about my own body and not pick on people who are trying to do the same thing.

But I still worry about friends who subscribe dangerous weight loss tactics. That's what that feeling is - worry. It's not anger, but frustration that I can't call their shots.

So yeah, I'm not really an a-hole. I'm trying to be more positive.


On that note, guess who lost another 3 lbs this week? This one, right here! I'm down a total of 28 libbers. That leaves only 3.4 lbs left in my May 5 challenge, and I'm almost at my first goal weight! Skidoo!

I'm getting a new Chuck Palahniuk book to celebrate. Any fans of his out there with any suggestions?

So there's that,



Justin said...

I totally got where you were coming from. I think it's out of a desire for people not to make bad/poor choices when you've been down that road and know the damage that can be done. Your anger only comes from the big heart that you have where you want to take care of other people before yourself. And it's time for Laura, let others learn their own lessons in their own time.

If I remembered what Tiffany Jenkins would always say to you, I'd write it here. But I don't. But I bet you remember she would say something encouraging - remember that mix tape? "Laura, you are a beautiful woman...I'm designing lingerie and you should be a model."

Laura said...

Oh jeezis - I love you. Tiffini...I know she'd always lez out over me and go on about her lingerie line and love for Marques Houston. I WISH I still had that mix tape. It was the perfect combo of old Mariah, boy bands, and flava...her spoken message was the tops though. I make fun, but her heart was in the right place.

I'mma hook you up.