Dear Subway

I went to Subway's website to check out the nutritional value of the sandwich I'm planning to pick up for lunch (the Melt...mmm).  While I was there, I thought I should say something about the lack of lite mayo in some of their stores.  I like me some mayonnaise, but a girl's gotta shave calories where she can.  I don't need full fat.  So I ended up ranting a little in the letter.

 

This was a long time coming.

 

Hello!

 

I commend Subway for emphasizing healthy eating, but to that end, why don't all stores replace full-fat mayonnaise with light mayo?  It doesn't really make sense to have both on hand; they both taste so similar (and obviously look so similar) that it would be easy for a negligent employee to fill one bottle with the other.  I know I would hate to get regular mayo when I specifically request light.

 

While I'm writing you, I used to work at Subway when I was a teen, and you know what I miss most about the way you used to do things?  I miss the U-Gouge - the method of slicing the bread in which the top is separated from the bottom.  And I miss having my sandwich built from the bottom up:  cheese, meat, onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles, peppers, olives.  Now with these side-sliced, meat-on-top sandwiches, I feel like I'm eating an unwieldy taco.  I have to instruct my sandwich artist to build it the way I want it, and when I do, they look at me like I've got a straightjacket on and pee running down my pant leg. 

 

I mean, is it so shocking to order a normal sandwich?  I don't want my meat sliding around over the top of my vegetables; I want it on the bottom, where it's a stable foundation. 

 

All right, there's my rant.  In short, I'd love to have light mayo in all stores, a sandwich built from the bottom up, and the u-gouge as a bread-slicing option.  All these breads with fancy sprinkles don't mean anything if its contents slide out onto your lap when you take a bite.

 

Sincerely,

 

Laura Meyer

 

So there's that,

 

Laura