I drafted a pansy-ass email to him, but I don't really want to be the kind of person that breaks up over email. I've decided to call him tonight.
I'm not hurt or upset; I'm just very ready to end this. There's no passion there, and I feel like we're both holding out for the BBD - the bigger better deal. Neither of us deserve to be placeholders. I think we'll both be relieved at the end of the day, honestly.
This ends the civil tone of this transmission. Begin the bitchy tone: Two subs do not make a dom. He's too shy to make any moves, and so the hell am I. We even talked about this, THREE MONTHS AGO. Nothing. I'm just done with him. The guy's 36, and I completely understand why he's still single. He's not unattractive; he just has no MOVES. In that HE DOESN'T MAKE THEM. I never thought I would dislike someone who was so nonthreatening. Gah!
I know what it feels like to be desired, and to desire in return. I deserve to be desired. There's nothing - nothing - I crave about this man. Plus, he puts up this front all the time, that he's so blase about everything that nothing affects him. He acts like he's the authority on every subject. I've had very few real and frank conversations with him. I like him when he's honestly himself, but that's only 5-10% of the time. He's honest, but not genuine.
So, I guess it's time to break up.
So there's that,
UPDATE: He hasn't responded to the email yet. I take that to mean he's amenable to the terms...but he's not getting his book back.