Starbucks? It's over.
It was fun dropping $3-5 a day on you while it lasted, but I just can't do this anymore.
Your blended treats are too caloric, and I just don't trust that your Caramel Light Frap is actually "light." Oh how they tempt me on a warm summer's day; with no milkshakes or smoothies around for several blocks, yours is my go-to slurp factory.
Your breads are oily, your cookies dry, your pastries unimaginative. They're not your main focus, and it shows. Keep them from my sights. Even the lemon bars I've loved so dearly for so long are dead on my palate.
Your coffee is harsh. Acidic. Too much of the burned urn flavor for something so pricey. The iced coffee I sipped on this afternoon left the taste of tobacco in my mouth. It took me years to realize this, and now that I finally have? I feel used. Filthy. All the scalding hot showers in the world can't rid me of this shame.
Get me a rape kit.
Starbucks? I will always enjoy the occasional trips with my coworkers, always have fond memories of the money I spent on you, but I will show restraint in the future. Or until winter comes and I crave some creamy hot chai.
Until then, work on that coffee thing. It's not the best.
So there's that,
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