Thursday, May 8, 2008

Fun at Work

I had a fun email exchange with Justin today about fun things we'd like to do on the phone at work, especially to people we will never see and have no bearing on our future success.  Like salespeople.
I started it:
Me:  Do you ever get the urge to, when you're on the phone with someone you don't know, mispronounce a word you know full well how to pronounce?  Just for kicks?  Example: tertiary.  "Well, reading off my records here, it looks like the, uh, ter-TIE-uh-ree? TURD-ee-air-ee?  What's that?  Oh!  TERSH-ee-air-ee.  Thank you...forgive me."
Justin:  Yes, or say things like "well, we've got ourselves a real humdinger with this case" or "it's been quite a kafuffle"
Me:  It's all better than saying "oh poop..."
Justin:  have you ever wanted to just go "hang on a second, let me look this....OW! OW! ow ow ow ow that hurt"
The last one made me pee a little.  I hope it makes you pee a little too.
Back when we didn't care about our jobs, Justin and I would scheme to crank call his lame coworkers.  I would call and pretend to be on my way to the church picnic, telling the unwitting employee that I would be there soon, and that I packed that chicken salad that Beth likes, but I didn't put grapes in it -- to be mindful Gary and his colon polyps.  When she would finally correct me that I had the wrong number, I would say, "Oh...I'm sawry!  Oh my!  Oh goodness...oh...sorry for taking up your time.  What do you sell?  Yard flags?  You got ones in the shapes of Easter baskets?  Oh that's nice..."
I would go on and on while the person on the other end tried to end the conversation.  On Justin's end, he would hear his coworker trying to gently let me go, saying, "Oh...uh huh...well that's....ok...uh, it's all right....uh huh...well maybe 5...all right.  okay, well it was nice....uh huh....i...okay,, January...all right...goodbye...uh huh....
It was pretty fun.  Other times I would start to talk to them like a normal person, then end up making this long nasal roar and hang up.  I've ended some "normal" calls with "Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!!!"  Then Justin would listen to his coworkers talk about the "strangest phone call."  What a blast.  Why don't we do that anymore?
In other news, I'm on day three of Nutrisystem.  It's going okay.  I didn't want to eat my fist in hunger last night like I wanted to on Tuesday night.  I guess, as Mom would say, my stomach's getting smaller.  Ha!
My lunch today was the best so far - Cheesy Mashed Potatoes.  They come dehydrated in a "Cup Ramen" style situation, where I just add hot water, stir and let stand for a few minutes.  I added some hot sauce to this business, and it was SO GOOD.  Seriously, if hadn't stopped to check email, I probably would have gulped this stuff down in 2 minutes.  I love rehydrated mashed potatoes!!!!!!!  I immediately went to my order page and put 2 more on there for my next shipment.  *Homer Simpson drooling sounds*  It was a moment of bliss.
Back in high school, my friend Sara Blunk and I were obsessed with dried potatoes.  She hosted a sleepover for her birthday once, and we made green mashed potatoes with food dye.  And gravy from a pouch mix.  Man!  That was so much fun!  Sara and I would talk about how we would grow up to be starving artists and live on nothing but boxes of Idahoan.  Ahh...the ignorance of youth:  Idahoan comes in bags, too.
Try yourself some dried mashed potatoes tonight.  And add some hawt sawce.
So there's that,


manda said...

The phone calls made me laugh. I remember you telling me about one call when you worked in Jasper yet. I forgot what you guys said, but it was hilarious. You and Michelle should exchange co-worker numbers!

mkieper said...

THAT would be awesome!

I wish I could let you listen to some messages that I left a cowork a few weeks ago, of course he's funny and he knew it was me...but they are VERY funny. I have this "black woman" voice. There are three of them. The first I start out by saying. Yaes, is dis CVS farmacy? Yeah, I wus in der and I lef my hemroid cream on the counna. Wonderin if ya foun it?...but I think I axa dently calld the rong numba. Well, I gotta go make my collerd greens...bye.

The next one was same lady. this Thermwood? As in wood, I need me sum wood, sum hot wood..don't nee no splintas though. bye

The last one was, in my opinion the funniest...

Starts off with me yelling at my son.

"Tyrel shud up I'm on the fone" dis the e-cabinet's division? Yeah..I hurd dis wus where I wus posed to call to get parts for my lazy boy...I sat in it and broke it, and well my sista Shaquifa she tol me I need to loose weight, well that n**&&a just Wrong. Could you call me back, I appreciate it. bye

Anyway this doesn't do it justice...but I tried. We should definatly look into it. I don't really sit by anyone, but I could go hang out in an area..IF I knew you were going to do it. I'd be happy to exchange the favor.