Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I have to make a confession.

This is very shameful to admit...

I fucking mean it.

I spent 2 hours on Sunday watching YouTube vids of people popping zits, cysts and boils.


I got my monthly PMS chin zits, and I learned long ago (read: last month) that I shouldn't try to pop them because I'll go all crazy and gouge a patch out of my face. To prove it, I have 3 scars on my chin the size of cigarette burns.

Not to brag, but zits are pretty rare for me. Yeah, I get chinzits every month, but none big enough to write home about. So when I do get a real juicy one, I want to pop it and dig at it until I see bone or Jesus, whichever comes first.

It's such a rush! You KNOW IT IS! Zit-popping and scab-picking are one of life's nastiest guilty pleasures and don'tpretendyou'rebetterthanME!

So yeah, I want to pop my zits but I can't because of the aforementioned scarring. I had some free time on Sunday - obvies - and decided that instead of going to town on my face, I should see if YouTube had anything to offer.


I started out with zits, but when I wasn't satisfied I moved onto sebacious cysts on men's backs. That was good for 45 minutes or so, but I still wasn't fulfilled. I moved onto boils and skin infections. Of particular delight were MRSA wounds being drained. (That link is tame - just a description.) MRSA is a particularly nasty staph infection that can cause huge abscesses that are often confused with spider bites (I watched drainage of those, too). I watched baseball-sized holes being drained of fluid, leaving behind a hollow hole in the skin. It's fucking disgusting...and glorious.

Then I watched video blogs about how entire MRSE abscesses had to be completely excised from the body, leaving deep trenches in the tissue. Many people found hard lumps of puss (or something...I'll call it puss) in the drainage and photographed it.

Obviously, I'm not very squeamish about this stuff, and I'm sorry if you are. I would probably get sick if I was in the same room and had to smell it, but I can handle watching surgeries with some suspension of disgust. It's just soooo cool to see what the human body does to fight infection!

Sad to say, I don't think I'm done. I went back to watch more yesterday, and I'll probably go back tonight.

What have I learned? Zits are just a gateway blemish.

So there's that,



Jennifer Rockstar said...

I do this. My husband thinks it's sick. It is sick and I'm sick.

The best is when I post it on unsuspecting MySpace or FaceBook pages.

I'm resisting the urge not to verbally "compare" vids we've seen right now.

Laura said...


Laura said...

(probably the only one that really made me squeamish was "pussudder" - effing nasty.)

justin said...

you think you know a person, then they go and are a closet freak. but who's worse? you or the people posting those nasty ass videos.

boygeorgesureislame said...

Oh cysts are the best!

Maui said...

In college my roommates were nursing students. They'd come home and we'd have dinner together and they'd try to see who could get me to leave the table the fastest. Alison usually won. She had to pack a tunnelling bed sore with so much gauze that she said she could have packed enough potatoes in there to make enough potato salad for a party. I still have a hard time with potato salad.