Back in September 2007, I bought a couple of suits for my new (now current) job. Sad to say, I never got to wear them to work because I grew out of them by the time I started the job 2 weeks later. I shouldn't say "grew out" - I gained 10 lbs. It's funny, because I didn't remember them being snug when I tried them on at the store.
Weight gain goes directly to my legs, thighs, butt and FUPA. I can still wear the shirts I bought then, but the pants were relegated to the left side of my closet to gather dust.
Well, for the past couple of Mondays, I've pulled out the pairs of "new" pants to see if they could be moved into the rotation. I wanted to ease the burden on the 2 pairs of black fat dress pants that have been working overtime for over a year.
This morning was a success! I pulled out a pair of dark denim/gold weave trousers and nearly farted with glee as I buttoned them with ease. How groundbreaking is this event? The tags were still on the pants.
I have pants as old as toddlers, and the tags have never been removed. That's pretty unfortunate.
But today is a new day! Henceforth, let March 23 be known as Closeted Pants Day. Because mine? Are officially OUT.*
So there's that,
*See what I did there? I likened my pants to closeted homosexuals. I know!