I've been off the grid for a couple of weeks, and for that please accept my most sincere apologies...
Last week I was in Durham, North Carolina for work, and it was a looooooong week. I've been working on this project for a year, scaring myself shitless, worried about its success, and I had nothing to fear. Everything went off without a hitch! And it was because I worked my butt off for 14-16 hours a day while I was there, catering to everyone's needs.
I have to admit that I LOVED IT.
It was kind of nice to get out of the city, to focus on one major part of my work while checking in on other projects at my discretion. The only thing that sucked is that I was indoors all week, and I didn't get outside during our afternoon breaks because I was tunneling through, preparing for the evening meetings.
On our last night, we went to a comedy club. While stand-up is my least favorite form of comedy, I laughed til I was hoarse...mostly because of the gin and the wine. I have a big laugh that some may find annoying if not frightening, so I made sure to warn my companions. After a week of virtually no speaking, I let loose. Wew!
And at the end of the week, people liked me! They raved about my performance! FIST PUMPS!
But also at the end of the week, I didn't want to talk to another living being. After I said goodbye to the course director at the airport, I promised to seal myself up for the remainder of the weekend. I wanted some ME time.
So when I was waiting for a cab at O'Hare, bogged down with luggage, glowing from the effort, shoulders aching, I just wanted to settle onto a leather seat and let the air from the open window soothe my travel-weary soul. The taxi dispatch guy asked me where I was going, and when I said Lakeview, a blonde chick was all, "I'm going to Lakeview, too. Wanna split a cab?"
Oh hell no. This was MY time. I put a face on all week for people, and I wasn't about to make awkward conversation with some skinny bitch I didn't know. So I says to her, I says:
"No...I really don't want to share a cab." Then I moved on. I said it pleasantly enough, but for the first time ever, I didn't explain myself and I didn't apologize. Didn't add a "sorry" afterward. Because I wasn't sorry. I was tired. I wanted what I wanted. And I wanted to be alone.
So I spent the long cab ride talking to the driver about his home country of Togo, its relationship with Ghana, the colonial history of Africa and the continuing effects of colonial conflict. That's how I roll....
So there's that,