I've learned some hard facts about my diet and behavior since surgery.
- Baked potato chips, while approved by my dietician, do not make me feel good. They feel sludgy in my stomach, I can feel the pulp gurgling around down there. It's nasty. I can't even look at chips ever again.
- Packaged tuna and salmon are hit-or-miss with me. A month ago, I got some tuna stuck in my pouch, which caused much pain and dry heaving. Last week I decided to revisit packaged fish - the salmon salad went down really well for 3 days. It was the 4th day that destroyed me. I'm putting that shit back on the shelf for another time.
- I love cheese. I fucking love cheese. I want cheese to get me pregnant. Thankfully, cheese is a high-protein essential in my post-op life. Praise cheese!
- It's weird to go grocery shopping now. I want to make lots of different things for the week, but I won't be able to eat lots of things for the week. Case in point: I made meatballs 3 weeks ago. Last weekend I had to throw the final 3 out. I just couldn't eat them often enough. I've decided to really focus on the things I need (sugar-free popsicles and Activia Light yogurt), and buy other staples as needed. I don't want to be a hoarder.
- I can't look at the scale between weigh ins. That shit fucks with your mind. Example: I looked at the scale today and am apparently up 5 lbs since Tuesday. No way. There's no possible way on this diet. Will see what the scale says next week. Bet it will be awesome. Bet it will be awesome.
- I need a schedule at night to keep from going crazy. I'm a hermit. I live alone. I don't like going out on weekday nights. I could easily graze on cheese and sugar-free popsicles if I allowed it. Unfortunately, I'm bad about keeping schedules. This week's evening schedule was successful:
- Go home.
- Take multi-vitamin.
- Turn on music.
- Put on lounge-y clothes.
- Make bed, clean apartment.
- Do dishes.
- Complete the L.A. Times crossword puzzle for the day.
- Check on the interwebs.
- Watch my stories.
- Take a bath and read.
- Go to bed.
- From the list above, it's clear that I need a hobby/enriching activity. To that end, I began volunteering at a homeless shelter. Last night was the orientation, and next week I begin volunteering at their clinic on Tuesdays and their kitchen on Thursdays. I'm pretty pumped.(!)
- I'm losing patience with people. It's not because I'm more confident and tired of being rolled over all the time; it's because I'm cranky...and tired of being rolled over all the time. I'm trying to keep my tact and manners in check.
- I need to reach out to people more often. I'm a really shy person, and it's become so much worse after so many months in seclusion. I make a point to go to one social commitment per week, and try to call friends and family more often. It's difficult, but I just have to grit my teeth and get out there.
Have a good weekend, everyone! I'm going to try and make the best of it!
So there's that,