|Please note: Although it's normal to lose over 2 lbs in 1 week, a safe rate of weight loss is no more than an average of 2 lbs per week after your first 3 weeks. If you lose too quickly, it could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. If you're losing too quickly, please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you're not sure how.|
Note this, bitch: Way to lose 3.2 pounds this week, fat ass!
You know how to excercise, eat right, and work the program - keep up the good work.
Here are some tips on staying motivated:
- Keep a food journal.
- Don't be ignorant.
- Don't eat this stuff.
Plus, my leader is an old cooz. Old = 70s. All the old people like her and think she's really motivating, but she's actually kind of messed up. She uses all this 1980s Scarsdale and Atkins diet lingo in the meetings, and I get the vibe that she's more "diet" than "lifestyle change." That's totally not what WW (from here on out it shall be called "dub-dub") is all about. But she has been a lifetime member for 23 years, so I guess she knows something. Even so, I get the vibe that she still hangs on to old dieting lore.
I really want to be a leader. I mean, it's kind of hard to be inspired by some of these leaders who've only had to lose 20 lbs to be happy/at goal. A loss is a loss blahblahblah, and if it means something significant to you to be back at your cheerleading weight then hoo-rah. But I need someone who's been in the stinky, sweaty folds of obesity - preferably all their lives and a couple of times over - who can really inspire me. And I wanna be that person. I wanna be all, "Oh, you want to lose 23 pounds? That's great!...mmmmmiiiiilostonefifty."
Nah, that's a touch passive aggressive. I couldn't do that, could I? Um, but speaking of passive-aggressive, how about this line from the dub-dub "note" above: "Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you're not sure how." Mmmmm...I'm pretty sure I know how to slow my weight loss, thankyouverymuch; I've been doing nothing but that for 20 years. Ack! Ack! Ack!
Oh! And I effing love how the dub-dub's healthy living section of the site identifies only 4 different life stages for women: Bride-to-Be, College Student, New Mom, and 40+. Uh? How about Disenchanted Twentysomething? How about Quarterlife Crisis? How about Cathy Cartoon? College Student I can handle because I was there, but not all of us go from college to matrimony to baby-havin' (or reverse) to menopause. Some of us are a little more pathetic than that. I swear to God if I hear someone bitch about their 20 lbs of baby weight, I'm gonna throttle her. How about you "intercourse it off" youknowwhatimeanjustuseprotection? Same with brides-to-be. Forty Plus? I guess you and I are in the same boat...only I can still menstruate.
Not fair. I wanna be a leader and I wanna make a big impact on this program.
But pretty much the point of this whole post is to note that I lost 3.2 pounds this week. More paperclips, please!
So there's that,