tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697082176991195542.post4594761360399241485..comments2023-10-19T06:07:33.562-06:00Comments on In Bad Taste: Fondled.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03212969079717720025noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697082176991195542.post-7492765077453661832010-05-20T18:12:59.171-06:002010-05-20T18:12:59.171-06:00What the fuck is it with you and public transporta...What the fuck is it with you and public transportation? Jesus. The worst thing to ever happen to me on a bus was in the 9th grade and said bus was yellow. A girl called me "princess" and threw spitballs in my hair. <br /><br />Basically good job here, but next time, let's follow through, shall we? Use the umbrella as the bold and pointy prophylactic it was born to be. Allow it to protect you from harm. Cut a bitch with it. Don't cry or be quiet. Embarrass him, hurt him, shame him, reduce him to ash.<br /><br />I did this verbally to a stupid, short-sleeve-and-tie wearing douche who called me fat because I couldn't into my car fast enough in the parking lot at Q'Doba. I WAS NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. And I was trying to hurry. I cried, then reparked and reentered Q'Doba where Sir Neverfucks was awaiting his taco. He got this taco instead. I told the entire line of people waiting what he said and why he said it. I told him that people in short-sleeve-and-tie combos who never had sex should probs not be dicks to others. I told him I was super sorry about his bad skin and thinning hair at such a tender age, but that it wasn't my fucking fault and that he should go back to his job at Best Buy and logon to his illicit stash of porn and leave nice ladies alone. <br /><br />A few people cheered for me and gave out the "go girl"s and fucker left, sans taco. It was mexcellent. <br /><br />Be an ass kicker. I never saw any welcome sign on your forehead. Fuck him! PS alternate post title "Stirred and Shaken." xoxo Suzie HandshakeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697082176991195542.post-65240583606941380022010-05-18T19:24:13.095-06:002010-05-18T19:24:13.095-06:00Plus you sound like you looked fierce. Watch out M...Plus you sound like you looked fierce. Watch out Mediteranean men!Samnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697082176991195542.post-51070973813556502632010-05-18T19:16:45.976-06:002010-05-18T19:16:45.976-06:00I wish I had been there with you. If only to spit ...I wish I had been there with you. If only to spit out, "Yeah!" and laugh at him as though he lives in his mother's wood panelled basement eating hot pockets all day long until she kicks him out for about 10 minutes and he rides the bus around the block. Laugh at him and humilliate him. It's horrible to have that done you're not the only one. Oh the stories I have. They seem to get better with age. This one will be funny at some vintage, you wait and see. Then you can throw it out there at a party and be like, see bitches, you're not the only one either! Plus you made a stand. A stand against pervs. Well done woman. Bravo.Samnoreply@blogger.com